Two Words: Woo Hoo!

It has been 4 days since my glorious victory, and since then I have been shuttling between Canada's most populous province, its richest province, and its most symmetrical province. So without further ado, here are the official competition results

Badminton: Winner H: 21-19
Miss "The Sun Was In My Eyes" M was not match for the Great H.

Swearing: Winner M: "shitty"
I was doomed with this one, for fuck's sake. But I did last almost 3 hours, which is more than anyone imagined.

Who laughs first: Winner M: "penis dans une boite"
We often amuse ourselves with nonsensical translations. Guess you had to be there.

Balancing badminton racquet on head: Winner H
M suggested this impromptu competition because she's always thought she had the best posture. Wa ha ha!

Hula hoop: Winner H
I imagined I was the planet Saturn, and it's like the hoop had always been there.

Standing on one leg the longest: Winner H
M got way to ambitious here. She hopped around the yard, which only served to tire her out prematurely.

Rock-Paper-Scissors: Winner H: 4-3
M tried to invent the "all-consuming demon," a trumping move, but I wouldn't go for it.

Spitting farthest: Winner M
M has a loooong history of spitting at me, so she'd had way too much practice.

Arm wrestling: Winner H
This was the sweetest plum. My sisters always bug me about being "so small" and "so weak" (e.g., my nickname is Halfpint). M is still reeling from the shock of losing to someone so "pocket-sized." I must go flex now.

The Confrontation, Part 1

Okay, so M and I are having a problem.

Not the kind where I'm all like, "Say, M, may I please borrow your earrings?" and she's all like, "No, Bitch." This is more serious.

I recently moved from a more eastern Canadian province to seek my fortune in the West. The Pet Shop Boys, Jim Morrison, and even our beloved chanteuse Quebecoise Mitsou all condoned my decision in various songs.

Now, because I am on the shy side, and well, go outside only under the cover of night, I confess that I am a bit lonely. To ease my mind, M was supposed to come visit. Oh, the plans I made! The things we would see! (I was gonna take her to Glo Bowl for Pete's sake!) But alas, M cancelled, indefinitely. Seems she is "short of funds." I thought family was priceless, but whatev.

Because I have never been good at talking about my troubles, facing people, or making eye contact, I turn to our blog as a much-needed communication tool. M, this is from the heart.